A deep read of your existing site by someone who has spent 14 years on restaurant floors. 90-minute Loom walkthrough, plus an 8-page action sheet in writing, in five business days. Ranked by dollar impact, not by how clever the fix is.
“If the bottleneck is your photography rather than your code, the report says so — and recommends a photographer. The audit is not a sales call. The deliverables are the deliverables.”
$499flat · 5 business days · one Loom + one PDF
This week · audit slots
2 of 5 slots taken · one audit a day, one operator
14
Years on restaurant floors — FOH, BOH, GM
2
DMV restaurants Don currently manages, week to week
90min
Of recorded Loom, voice-over, yours forever
$0
Owed if I tell you not to commission a build
A finding from the action sheet, exactly as you’d see it.
The 8-page PDF is built like this from cover to last page: numbered, ranked by dollar impact, with the fix written for whoever maintains your site — not a designer.
No. 03 · of eightRank: high impact
What’s broken
Your mobile menu page weighs 5.6 MB and takes 14.2 seconds to first paint on 4G. The four hero photos are uncompressed JPGs straight out of the camera. Google’s mobile-usability test flags the page; PageSpeed scores 19/100.
Why it costs you
~$1,820/month in lost reservations and direct orders, modeled from your 6,400 monthly visits, an industry mobile-bounce rate of 53%, and your average ticket of $42.
What to do this month
Re-encode the four photos to AVIF + WebP fallbacks (target: 180 KB each). Move the menu’s sticky “Call us” CTA above the fold. If your CMS is Squarespace, swap the menu page to a Drop-In ($1,500, seven days). Total work: 90 minutes if you DIY, $400 if you hire it out.
Eight findings like this. Issue, cost, fix — every one with the math shown and the inputs yours to audit.
The reservations-leak number, shown.
Every finding ladders into one bottom-line number: how much your existing site costs you in lost reservations and direct orders per month. The model is simple enough to argue with.
Your real numbers go here. Monthly visits from your analytics, your platform’s actual mobile-bounce rate, your average check. Inputs editable; assumptions named.
What lands in your inbox.
Five deliverables, every one of them text or video you can hand to a developer, a designer, or a savvy nephew. None of it is locked behind a tool you have to subscribe to.
90-minute Loom walkthrough
I open your site on my phone, on my laptop, and from a Google search for your name. You watch what I see. Voice-over the whole way. Yours forever.
8-page action sheet (PDF)
Print it, pin it in the office. Three columns: what’s broken, why it costs you, what to do this month. Ranked by dollar impact.
The reservations-leak number
An estimate, in dollars, of monthly lost reservations and direct orders. The model is named; the inputs are yours.
Vendor swap recommendations
If your reservations system, ordering plugin, or photo host is the actual problem, you’ll know which to keep, which to change, and what each move costs.
30-day follow-up email
Thirty days after delivery I check in: which fixes did you ship, which didn’t make it, what’s blocking you. No charge, no obligation.
$499 credit toward a build
If you commission an Essentials, Full Service, or Restaurant Group build inside 60 days, the audit fee comes off the invoice. The audit doubles as discovery.
What I actually run against your site.
PageSpeed mobile + desktopSchema Rich Results testGBP / Yelp / Apple Maps driftReservations + ordering funnelCore Web Vitals (LCP/CLS/INP)Accessibility (axe)
Who it’s for.
You have a site and you can feel it’s costing you covers, but you can’t name where it’s leaking.
You’re considering a rebuild but want a second opinion before you commit five figures.
An agency or freelancer is pitching you a $20k build and you want a sanity check from an operator first.
You manage two or more restaurants and you want one of them audited as a pilot before you roll out across the rest.
What it is not.
No surprises, in writing
Not a redesign. The action sheet recommends fixes for the site you already have. Layout changes get quoted separately.
Not a sales call. The deliverables are the deliverables. There’s no second meeting where I pitch a build.
Not a template report. The Loom is recorded live for your site only. I do not run an audit on the same day for two restaurants.
Not generic. If the bottleneck is your photography rather than your code, the report says so — and recommends a photographer.
Five business days, start to delivery.
00Day zero
One-line note + URL.
Through The Window. I confirm the slot within 4 business hours and Stripe-invoice; pay before delivery, no deposit games.
01Days 1–2
The run.
PageSpeed, schema, GBP drift, funnel walk, mobile photo audit, vendor stack inventory. Two hours per restaurant, hands-on.
02Day 3
The Loom.
I record the 90-minute walkthrough live, voice-over, your site only. No template, no overdub.
03Days 4–5
The action sheet.
Eight findings, ranked by dollar impact, written for whoever maintains your site — not a designer. Loom + PDF arrive in one email.
04Day 30
I check in.
One follow-up email at 30 days: which fixes shipped, which didn’t, what’s blocking you. No charge, no obligation.
What you can trust before you click buy.
Five business days, or you don’t pay.
If I miss the five-day delivery for any reason that isn’t a documented stop on your end, the fee is refunded in full. Stripe invoices are paid before delivery, the same day they go out.
One audit a day, one operator, no template.
I don’t schedule two audits in a single day. The Loom is recorded live for your site — not voice-overed onto a saved deck. Calendar capacity is the feature, not the friction.
If you decide to build — the $499 comes off the invoice.
Inside 60 days of audit delivery, if you commission an Essentials, Full Service, or Restaurant Group build, the $499 credits in full against the invoice. The audit doubles as the discovery call you’d be paying for anyway, and you keep the action sheet either way.